COMING CLEAN

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 KJV Here we see a strong connection between confession and cleansing. Other than that observation, this particular scripture has little do with what I'm about to get into right now. I was led to make the point that there IS a connection, so I included it. I'm not even really sure why just yet. My prayer is that the revelation is for someone else. I pray that it is revealed as you read forward. To whomever the revelation is meant for, let it be revealed. Amen.

I saw a meme on a sister’s social media page this week, which served as about the fourth nudge from God for me to get this message out since He gave it to me. The meme reads, “Stop Saying IT RUNS IN The Family! Jesus Has Given You the Authority to Break Generational Curses IN HIS NAME!!” He spoke to me about this a couple of weeks ago. As I often do now, I was having a transparent and bold conversation with my daughter about the tricks of the enemy— especially the ones he uses on women. I spoke to her about how I’d succumbed to many of his tricks and to the desires of my own flesh in the past, which caused me to lose in life many times. As I reflected on the conversation later, I realized how hard it used to be for me to have these types of conversations with her because I had carried so much shame about my past behaviors and failings. I reflected on how helpful it is to her now that I can freely shed light on how the enemy’s tricks and the cultural norms and agendas will affect her based on real life examples—NOT general examples about what happens to “THEM or THEY” or what happened to “my cousinz n’em” when they did XYZ but specifically what affect those behaviors had on ME when I made poor choices along the way and how MY outcome compares to what God has promised and what He had envisioned for my life. I’m radical. I know the devil is not playing fair with my children and he is not holding any punches, so I come just as hard, in Christ, to reveal things to them. I’m raising warriors to know who their enemy is and his tactics, so sometimes training is uncomfortable, but I can see the fruits of the training in my children each day. They can sense when the enemy is at work and they have no problem calling it out—especially my girls and my nephew. I praise God for that. I remember when I thought being a Christian was all about being kind and compassionate. I'm so thankful that God has equipped me for the part of this walk that requires courage and boldness so that I may pass "that part" down to my children as well. That part has changed my life dramatically.

Oftentimes, we see spiritual manifestations in our children that we recognize because we dealt with those same spiritual afflictions. I believe we can put a stop to the spread of many spiritual afflictions in our families with the power of confession. Although many of us still hold to the idea that a child should stay in a child’s place, we have to seek God for ways to prepare our children for what they are facing in this age. My brother made the observation that this take is “light years” away from the “stay in a child’s place” ideology. I agree and I believe that we are light years away from the times when that approach worked. The devil is going harder now, so we have to go even harder. We are MORE than conquerors in Christ Jesus, so we need not fear as we prepare our children to face the culture with courage.

Recently, the rapper T.I. faced heat for openly admitting that he is trying to ensure that his 18-year-old daughter is still a virgin by attending her doctor’s visits with her. My response to the controversy is this: T.I. is like other men in that he surely loves his daughter and wants the best for her life and I’m certain he is very clear about what the best IS NOT. If he understands the law of sowing and reaping and that God will not be mocked (which is a spiritual law that applies to everyone just like the natural law of gravity), then he would do well to ask for God’s mercy and grace and would have save himself the trouble of attending the doctor’s visits. Men often want the men of the world to treat their daughters BETTER than they’ve treated other men’s daughters. I suggest men of God also ask for mercy in this area but also to utilize the power tool of confession. I believe the humility, faith, and courage that it would take for a man of God to sit his teenage daughter down and say, “Daughter, I treated your mother in ways that I regret when we were younger. I behaved in ways that caused damage to her soul because I lived to satisfy my flesh instead of God. I’ve received God’s forgiveness and I’ve asked your mother to forgive me as well. I do not want you to suffer at the hands of men like I used to be, so I want to share with you certain things to look out for—things that will help you decide wisely about who to allow in your life." MEN, hear me! If you see that your daughters are attracted to men like you used to be, THINK and PRAY about having some candid discussions, meaning confession. Daughters will respect that, and I believe it will break curses. If you have sons, talk to them about these things. Put a STOP to the cycle! Mothers, IF YOU SEE SPIRITUAL MANIFESTATIONS in your daughters that you recognize, don’t turn a blind eye. Don’t fuss. Consider and be prayerful about telling your daughters about your promiscuity regrets or the sinfulness of being the mouthy and disrespectful wife you used to be to your husband or whatever IT is. DO NOT keep quiet about that stuff. Much of the time, we don’t even have to “confess” to our children because they were there AND they remember, but we can acknowledge the wrong we did and explain the spiritual aspects of why we behaved as we did before Christ. Don’t just let these things ride because of shame and regret. Don’t just hope for the best. DO SOMETHING!--because, TRUST ME, the devil is doing something with that old spiritual stuff. You may want to forget about it, but he is using it. When we have opened the door and given certain spiritual licenses to the enemy to enter into our families, we have to make an EXPLICIT REVOCATION of his license in Christ. We have to say, "YOU’RE DONE DEVIL, YOUR LICENSE IS REVOKED IN THE NAME OF JESUS." We cannot just sit idly by and let his license EXPIRE. Forget that! That may take generations!

I’m not suggesting that you go and confess everything to your children and family that you’ve ever done in sin (unless the Lord tells you to). Use wisdom. Seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit about WHAT to confess to your children, HOW to confess it, and WHEN to confess. Pay attention to what your children are struggling with and DO NOT be afraid to confront behaviors or spiritual manifestations that you notice. Pray for the COURAGE to confess. It gets easier with time.

Brother Greg has called this practice “exposing the darkness.” Last Sunday, the senior pastor at the church where I fellowship, said it this way, “To lay the axe to the root of sin, you have to confess it.” I want to lay the axe to the root of sin in my family.

I encourage you to come clean to your children at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. It can have the effect of saving your children from repeating some things you went through or did. There is no running from it. IT, whatever IT is, will likely show up again if it goes unaddressed. The enemy is counting on you to keep quiet and he is probably trying to intimidate you out of addressing what you see in your child.

Shame will try to block you from confessing, but, once you get a true revelation about how wretched all humans really are, you will not be ashamed to confess and share about where God has brought you from. If you were able to have complete access to the minds and behaviors of the people you hold dear and in high esteem, from birth to current day, you’d probably never feel ashamed again at the thought of confessing “your stuff” to them. Confessing sin to the perfect and holy God, and in His presence, brings forth shame initially—so much shame. After we face HIM regarding those sins and HE removes the shame, why in the world would be ashamed before men, humans? If God already knows, why be ashamed before humans? I digress, but it’s something to think about because that shame could be a stumbling block to confession. Make sure you have been freed from shame by God, otherwise you will struggle really hard in confessing to your children. Let me tell you, the devil has something on his hands once you get set free from shame and fear!

Consider this also: Sometimes, we don’t want to confess a thing because we’re still dabbling in it behind the scenes. If we confess it to our children or our families, then we become accountable because we have acknowledged that it is wrong. So, if you are still lustful, then your flesh may be resistant to confessing to your daughter about your past promiscuity because deep down you still want to keep it hidden and dabble in it. If you’re still an adulterer in your heart, your soul may resist telling your son about the man you “used” to be because you sense that it’s still in you. Oftentimes, there’s stuff still in us operating and we allow it to have its way. Sometimes, we even justify it, but that’s a blog post for a different day. Whatever it is, take it to God, get set free so that you may you do your part in empowering your children to fight the good fight of faith in the years to come. Don’t let the devil have his way in your families! Expose the works of the enemy and of the flesh by shedding light! REVOKE the devil’s license in your family with CONFESSION!

I pray this blessed someone.